manager in the fanfiction universe: I don't care how many flower petals you're coughing up. You need to come in today
why does my caladium act like she is starving for light. hang on

every day i ahve to reposition the damn lamp cuz she’s dead set on sticking her first leaf Right The Fuck In There and i don’t want her to burn. but every day i come home from work and she has closed the distance anyway. bestie PLEASE cooperate with me
i finally caved and moved her to the windowsill but this has clearly not satisfied her because she still presses that leaf RIGHT up against the glass

apparently instead of actually growing new leaves in order to increase her light intake she’s decided that these are PERFECT conditions to flower in

BABYGIRL YOU HAVE ONE LEAF PLEASE
ok but with the right production...
Literally the future of music but many cant understand that
Menacing Guy: I am going to kill you.
Me: well, I appreciate the transparency. Not happy about this, obviously, but most people wouldn't even have the decency to be straight up with me about it.
one of my single greatest flaws as a human being is that i still think using 4chan greentext to narrate events is extremely funny
i love horror movies i just also never grew out of 'oh this looks very violent i am going to close my eyes now' i dont care if thats pussymode weaksauce i love the Experience and also i have my limits







